I can't believe anybody thought any part of this was funny. I didn't even want to click it a third time after I saw you hit her when you clicked. I kept going because I understood you had a story to tell through this, but oh my god. It's ghastly, and it's so sad because this is real. This actually happens. The ending felt so fucked up.
As for the flash, I really respect what you're saying here, and your method of execution works well, but it's not very well made. It's composed of relatively simple drawings against white backgrounds and simple buttons. I think that with some more effort put in with more detailed drawings and animations, the impact could have been more effective and the flash could have been taken more seriously by more people.
Good work, though. It's so fucking sad, but you really said something strong with this flash. Make more, and try and do better with them, in the future. You have a lot of potential.
What the hell?
I actually watched it until it stopped. For Christs' sakes, this is evil, genius, idiotic, confusing, funny, and strange all at the same time. A lot of the rambling was insane and some unintelligible, but a couple parts were cute.
I think I admire you for making a flash of Big Ben rambling on and on more than I do the actual flash, though.
The ending could have been a little less abrupt, as well.
It was quite fucked up, to tell you the truth. The pigs are addicted to coins (by the way, I loved how you linked their addiction to piggybanks,) and the only way they can get the coins is by giving pig parts to a very gluttonous man who loves pork. Our little hero even goes to killing for coin. Definitely linked to drug addiction; you don't even have to read the author's notes to get that. The over-the-top cartoon animation mixed with the bleak, dark, tones worked well; it kind of reminded me of Courage the cowardly dog, strangely enough. I loved the part where he's on the moving sidewalk and he's bobbing to the music in the background.
This is very creative and very stylistic, but it isn't flawless. Some parts were a little difficult to follow, mostly with them taking the coins, but I suppose that fits with the whole drug thing. The sounds felt awkwardly placed to me and sometimes it felt like there weren't enough, while others, I disliked what sound effects you did use, so sound is something you could try to work with.
Very good work. Your style takes some getting used to, but it's rather enjoyable, in a dark kind of way.
Very good, if you actually take the time to play.
A lot of people were turned off within the first three levels; the first level is EXTREMELY hectic and confusing, and it's far too easy to die in it. Judging by a lot of the negative reviews, a lot of people stopped there and passed it off as bad. In example, MindChamber remarked that the characters were unmemorable; he obviously didn't play long enough to get the point that you were supposed to create your own using parts. Someone else said the characters were too similar; the same applies. I'm not talking about the characters so much as I am how little time these people apparently were willing to put into the game. I got the same impressions, but I kept playing. Once you get the hang of it, character appearances range more, and the levels flow a little more sensibly, it gets much better and far more enjoyable. The game is very cleanly put together and has an amazing variation in weapons and has extraordinary character customability. The combat gets hectic, but there is an art to fighting like that.
This game is very well made, and is extremely similar to Super Smash Bros, which it mimics very well; its downfall is that you made a piss poor choice with the first couple of levels. You really should have started players off with easier, more manageable fights.
I got all three endings. Contrary to the norm, the best ending is to get rid of the girl who "loves" you and the worst is to have her stay. Why? She's a drug. I realized that she was a drug on my second playthrough. I noticed how addicted the narrator seemed (he wants to know if he can live without her) and linked that to the first ending I got, which was the one in the hospital concerning hitting nerves or arteries. Voila, she's a metaphor for a drug.
Anyways, I kind of liked the style of this. The colors were nice, all yellows and whites and dull browns. The story was kind of sad and pitiful, and had a relatively well done, simple execution. My problems were that it wasn't very compelling; you couldn't relate to the main character and the options were usually systematic. Option 1: Say something nice to her. Option 2: Ignore her or go in a negative direction with her. More options would definitely be welcome. As well, more art would be really nice; she had like 3 different expressions and there were only 3 backgrounds... that was pretty much the extent of the art. More interesting personalities on the two characters would have been welcome as well, as would a more audibly pleasing and interesting piece for background music.
Anyways, I like how figurative and interpretive the story is, and it does have a smidgen of style, but the elements of how you interact and how much there is to this need some work.
You, sir, are tank-crazy. You draw a lot of tanks and other large-scale mechanical devices. Very good art though. I particularly liked the pokemon, as well as other assorted creatures. You have a good imagination, it's a shame you spend so much of your time drawing boobs and guns (no offense to you, though, it's all good either way.) Your mushrooms are really quite good, too.
The background music is from Final Fantasy 9, correct? I recognized it, and it's a pretty good choice, albeit contrasting with your art style.
All around, it's pretty good. Why don't we see some of this stuff in the art portal?
There's waaaay too much to put into the Art Portal.
And the good ones are already there.
I agree with Ornery.
Noble effort, but Cloudy, you're no singer. Not at the moment.
The way you did the background sounds is kind of cool, and I think the lower parts sound a bit better than the higher parts where singing is concerned. Perhaps you should choose a song that Win sings (Neon Bible would probably be a great choice; short, simple, and yet great) instead of one sung primarily by Regine, because, man, falsetto really doesn't work for you.
Vocal work is like visual arts, in that with enough training and work, no matter how much you suck, you can eventually get good with it, as long as you realize what you're doing wrong, figure out how to better yourself, practice, and have some semblance of understanding of music. I know this because I spent some odd three months teaching myself how to sing well enough to keep up with chorus kids in my school's musical. I can't really tell how serious you are about making music, but if you really want to do well with this, keep at it. You've got a long way to go, but it's not impossible.
I am pretty serious about making music although I didn't make this very seriously. I probably would be a lot better off doing a song that Win sings. I'm alot better at singing than I was a year ago. Hopefully I can make a good cover one day.
This is kind of awesome.
I got a PM from you asking me to listen to your song, so I did.
As someone who isn't really much a fan of trance, techno, or even electronic instrumentation as a whole, I found this to be surprising quite pleasant. It's really catchy, has great energy to it, and is really well put together. It's a really fun piece, and it changes itself enough in the course of its four minutes to avoid getting stale.
It is a bit busy in places, and I think you honestly should have made it more about the melody than the harmony. As an example, close to the end, where the higher parts die off into separated triplets in favor of more background sound, it feels fairly empty. I think it could have benefited from ending in a similar manner to how it began, with a more faded out melody line.
It's pretty poorly named. "Gates of Oblivion" sounds like a death-metal song name.
I don't think I have much else to say. Hope this helps!
IT is busy because I have a short attention span. And the name is a play on words because I used trance gates. :P
Oh, my gog. I'm about to geek out over this. I never give things 10s, but I like this. A lot.
This is exactly the kind of thing I wanted to make following the EOA. I tried making fanart of all the kids in God Tier, and hated how it was coming along, so I scrapped it. You, however, have done an excellent job with it! This is lovely. My favorite aspect is how the symbols for Light and Time are appearing on Rose and Dave's chests, and how their new clothes are enveloping the Derse dream self clothing. Very cool effects. The level of detail is impressive, as well, one detail that stood out to me being that Jade's knee creates a bulge in the dress, which I quite like considering you could easily bullshit that away in a flowing dress like that.
There is one little flaw that occurred to me in this piece, and that's the lighting. Your ability to lay out shades is good, but where the light source is here is kind of confusing me. The most obvious idea would be that it's the green sun (which, ideally, would probably be casting a green glow on all the kids), but there seems to be light hitting them from a variety of different directions (underneath Jade's feet, in front of Dave's hands, underneath Rose, etc). This is a really minor issue considering it only really occurred to me upon close inspection and the piece isn't really meant to depict a believable setting. Otherwise, this is great. I love it. Good fanart. Keep it up!
Hey, thanks so much for your review!
RE: The lighting - Yeah, it's a little all over the place, haha. At first I tried to have it coming from the Green Sun, but the green tint gave the characters a sickly look and Jade's face was all in shadow. I changed it to be almost like Jade is giving off the light herself, or the planets she's floating. I created each character separately and then merged them, though, so it's not very accurate :P
Drawing this was a good learning curve for me, and I'll make sure to keep lighting in mind with future work. Thanks!
Glad you like it!
This is really cute. I like it.
I have a few comments to make, though.
It's great that you're using lots of lighting and shading in your drawings, and I really like the way you color, but the way you use them doesn't make very much sense. For instance- she's got sparkles in her eyes (reflections of light) under a shadow, where not much light should be reaching. If the light source isn't hitting that part of her face, light shouldn't be reflected like it is, so those reflections really need to be on the lower part of her eyes.
Continuing on that, there's shade on both sides of her head, which doesn't make much sense with any form of light source- it couldn't even be a light source overhead or to the front, because she's got shadows on top of her head and in the fronts of some areas of hair.
I'm sorry to point out negatives and such, but you need to work on your lighting- you've got using it down, but you need to study some real things and how light hits them (there are guides all over the internet if you look) and apply that to your works.
Otherwise, you've got a very cute, pleasant style that I quite like.
Hope this helps somehow.
Don't pay attention what the commenter below me says. You can draw whatever you damn well want to draw.
I personally am not much a fan of the anime art style, but I can respect it when it's well done (and this is pretty well done.) Anyways, onto an actual review.
This is a cute little drawing, though the pose of the girl makes me feel kind of mixed towards that thought. Your anatomy is pretty good; I'm especially fond of how you did her feet, considering that feet can be a bit of a bitch to draw. You've got an excellent sense of detail going here, from the folds in the clothing to the hair to the general shading. Your lighting is pretty well done, but it also doesn't make a whole lot of sense. The body and the clothing keep a consistent light source (from the left), but her hair and eyes have highlights that indicate a light source from the right as well, which kind of conflicts. On the end of her hair, there's even a highlight that would indicate a light source on her lower back. While that issue isn't exactly a glaring problem, consistency is something you may want to pay more attention to in the future.
I'd also like to point out that certain elements of the background don't look so good. The shadow that's underneath her is somewhat strange looking- pay attention to real life shadows cast by people and objects and you'll probably notice that they're usually one solid shade of grey, with no textures. The bubbles that occupy the background are also kind of corny looking, though that's more a matter of personal preference than anything.
Overall, I'd say it's a very solid drawing. Good coloring, good lineart, mostly good lighting and shading. I hope the constructive criticisms I gave can help in some way.
Thank you very much! I really didn't expect a detailed critique here. ^^
You're absolutely right about the feet, they can be a bitch! But like I pointed out in my comment, the whole pose isn't really self-drawn. I just have a basic understanding of anatomy but if it comes to poses where you have to think about 3-dimensional stuff I really suck. I read somewhere that copying can be the key for some people to understand poses and angles, so I'll bear with myself for a bit longer copying stuff.
For the background and shadow: yes both is lame. I first thought about doing no shadow at all, but the pic would have been so empty, so I tested some brushes and doodled a really crappy shadow. xD In the future I'll stick with non-textured dark greys and I'll look up pictures with shadows on it or take some photos outside.
So, thanks again!
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